Well, I got an iPod Mini for Christmas. After the traditional lunch with my extended family... actually, we have time, I'm going to reveal a few sordid details about my family history...

My father's cousin, Joanna, was here from England. There's a good story about Joanna, and it begins with my grandmother's brother, Frank. He had been with his wife, Iris, for quite some time, but he honestly didn't like her that much. But, he was very weak-willed, and was ordered not to get divorced, as it would look bad on the family reputation.

Now, my great uncle was in a band at the time, and he went off on a tour of sorts with his band around England (don't ask me the name, I wouldn't know). On route, he had an affair with a groupie, who I don't know the name of. This affair produced Joanna.

Iris found out and convinced my weak-willed great uncle into never seeing this groupie or his daughter again, and only contact them through a solicitor. This knowledge was common among my family, but it was only after the death of Frank that Joanna actually showed up in our lives. And she's great.

Anyway, my grandmother and step-grandfather were also there. And there's another horrible tale to do with this.

My grandmother (Irene) and her husband had a rather large house, and after my father and uncle moved out, they had plenty of room to spare. So they rented out a room to Robert.

My grandmother had an affair with Robert, even while my grandfather was on his deathbed with colon cancer. A while afterwards his death, my grandmother married her live-in lover, Robert. And because my actual grandfather died before I was born, I don't really care. Rob is my grandpa.

Anyway, back to the iPod.

I put my entire good CD collection on that thing, and I still had 2.5 gig left. And when I say good, I mean my faves, and some stuff I don't like that much. On this list of good and not-so-good includes Silverchair, Nirvana, Leonard Cohen, Jackson Browne, Tom Petty, Midnight Oil, Eurythmics, Queen, R.E.M., Bruce Springsteen... you get the idea.

I'm now onto the stages of where I go to my dad and say something like...

SIMON: Dad, where's that Linkin Park CD of mine?
DAD: I don't know... wait, are you thinking of putting them on your iPod?
SIMON: Yes.
DAD: You said you hated them.
SIMON: Damn it, man, there is no love and hate with the iPod. It is all good, so long as it fits.

Repeat with many other artists.

Anyway, must be off and adding the Beastles to my iPod. Then sleep.

Oh, yeah, merry Christmas and a happy New Year to all, and to all a good nootch.